


I'd Risk Everything For A Chance To Be With You

by captainraz



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: But mostly fluff, F/F, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, No spoilers for the plot in the tags, Other stuff too, a tiny bit of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-12-03 04:08:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11524242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainraz/pseuds/captainraz
Summary: It’s reckless and foolhardy and so very ill-advised; she’s risking everything, her job, her friendships, herfamily. But she’s determined not to spend the rest of her life wonderingwhat if?.And the thing about Erin Gilbert is once she’s decided to be brave, no force in this world or the next can stop her.





	I'd Risk Everything For A Chance To Be With You

Looking at the news is getting to be too much for Erin. She wants to stay informed, desperately needs to know what’s going on in the world around her, but finding the balance between that and not setting off her anxiety is a challenge she’s not quite mastered.

She knew things were going to get bad. What she can’t really believe is just how quickly she’s learned to fear the words “executive order” and “breaking news”. They’re all worried, the Ghostbusters, their future together uncertain in the current climate. No one knows how long the Mayor’s going to be able to continue funding them, how long they’ll still have health insurance or if they’ll be able to access birth control in six month’s time. Erin isn’t looking forward to going back to the nightmare of heavy periods and crippling pain she had to put up with as a teenager, but she knows it’s almost certainly coming.

The thing is though, all these legitimate and very scary concerns aren’t the ones keeping her awake at night. No, the thing that’s stopping her from sleeping is the knowledge that she may be running out of time to do the one thing she really wants. It’s the fear that she’s waited too long, wasted too much time that’s responsible for the dark shadows under her eyes. So she’s going to do something about it.

It’s reckless and foolhardy and so very ill-advised but Erin doesn’t care. She’s determined not to spend the rest of her life wondering _what if?_ and wishing she’d acted sooner. Everything might be about to go up in flames anyway so what has she got to lose, really?

(A little voice in her mind tells her she’s risking everything, her job, her friendships, her _family_ , on the off chance that she’s right. She knows what’s at stake here, but the thing about Erin Gilbert is once she’s decided to be brave, no force in this world or the next can stop her.)

Trouble is, she feels anything but brave stood in the doorway to Holtz’s lab trying to fight off a panic attack.

“You alright out there hot stuff?” Holtz calls as she’s spot welding… something together.

Erin knows this is it; now or never.

She takes a deep breath to dispel the buzzing nerves in her chest and steps into the lab. “Actually I was hoping to talk to you about something.”

Holtz puts the welding torch away and takes her mask off as she props her feet up on the table, giving Erin her full attention. Erin’s blood feels like it’s fizzy. “You know you can talk to me about anything, Gilbert.” Holtz’s voice is soft and warm like it is sometimes and it makes Erin hope. Before it just felt like her veins were full of soda but now it feels like someone has shaken her up and she might explode.

“It’s a little crazy,” Erin says.

“You know me, I _love_ crazy,” Holtz says with a manic grin.

Now Erin’s heart is thumping wildly inside her chest—lub dub, lub dub, _oh shit_ , lub dub—and for the first time she wonders if she might actually pull this off. She takes a deep breath and dives in.

“So I’ve been thinking,” Erin starts, the sound of blood rushing loud in her ears. “About things, and the way they are, and how bad they might get.”

A crease forms between Holtz’s brows. “I know what you mean. I’ve been thinking about it a lot too.”

Erin nods and swallows, her breath catching on her throat. “And the thing that’s been weighing most heavily on my mind is that I might be running out of time to do the one thing I want to do more than anything else in the world so here goes.” Holtz cocks her head to the side like she does when she’s intrigued by something, a puzzled look gracing her delicate features. “I know this is the wrong way round and I wish we had more time but we don’t and it doesn’t matter anyway because I’m _sure_ about this, surer than I’ve ever been in my life and I’m probably gonna ruin everything but I have to know.”

Holtz grasps Erin by the arms. “Breathe,” she said. “What do you have to know?”

Erin looks her dead in the eye. “Holtz, will you marry me?”

Holtzmann’s jaw drops as she gapes at Erin. “Are you freaking serious?”

“Completely,” Erin says. “It’s taken me so long to sort how I’m feeling but now that I have I am absolutely certain of what I want and that’s you Holtz, now and always. I didn’t have chance to get you a ring but I absolutely will if that’s what you want, I just need you to let me know whether I’ve ruined everything or all my dreams are about to come true.”

Holtz doesn’t say anything for a long time, her throat working as she struggles to get words out. Erin is just about to start really, truly panicking when she notices a tear escaping from Holtz’s eye. She steps forward instinctively to wipe it away.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you,” Erin says, and then she realises she’s well and truly inside Holtz’s personal space and that might be unwanted. Before she can take a step back Holtz grabs hold of her wrist, holding her exactly where she is.

“You didn’t,” she says, and there’s so much conviction in her voice that Erin can’t help but believe her.

“Then… why are you crying?”

Holtz sniffs then, a great horking sound that isn’t sexy in the slightest, but Erin can’t help but find it endearing. “It’s just…” Her voice fails, and Holtz clears her throat while wiping frantically at her eyes. “Girls never even ask me to stay the night, you know? And here’s you, asking me to stay for the rest of our lives and we haven’t even _kissed_ and I don’t really know how to, uh, deal… with that.”

“Those other girls were all fools,” Erin says hotly, and the smile that blooms on Holtz’s face at those words is breathtaking. “I know what I want Holtz, I want you,” Erin says, letting her voice soften with everything she feels in that moment. “I just need to know whether you want me too. We can sort everything else out as we go.”

“Are you kidding me Gilbert? I’ve been half gone on you since you got spewed on by our first ghost, of course I want you. I, just, marriage is a big step, you know? It’s kind of all or nothing here.”

“No, not nothing, never nothing,” Erin says. “But I do want it all with you Holtz. So what do you say? Wanna get married while we still have the chance?”

A wide, infectious grin spreads over Holtz’s face and she throws her hands in the air, like she does when she’s truly excited about something. “Hells yeah,” she says, whooping loudly. “Let’s do everything the wrong way round and stick a middle finger up at the establishment while we’re at it. I can’t think of anyone I’d rather do this with than you.”

Erin laughs, a little nervously, because in the space of a few minutes she’s gone from being completely single to having a _fiancée_ , and that’s kind of huge. Going into this she really hadn’t expected this outcome; hoped for, but never expected. “We’re really doing this then?” she asks, hardly able to believe this is real. “We’re getting married?”

“Oh yeah I am definitely wifing you the hell up.” Holtz’s face softens then, and Erin realises it isn’t the first time she’s seen this impossibly fond look on Holtz’s face when the two of them are alone together. “Oh man I am going to have the hottest wife ever,” she says, tone serious despite the fact she’s smiling so hard her face has to ache. Erin’s never seen her dimple as deep as it is now. “I can’t wait to annoy her with my mess and my snoring and the fact I spend too long in the shower.”

Erin rolls her eyes, though the action is far more affectionate than she really intended. “I can always divorce you if you annoy me too much,” she warns, though in her heart she knows she doesn’t mean it.

“Nah, you won’t, not once you’ve had a taste of the full Holtzmann charm.” Her grin turns sly then, and it sends a little frisson of excitement down Erin’s spine. “Speaking of… Is this where I get to kiss you? Cos I really want to kiss you.”

Erin laughs, joy bubbling up inside her chest. “Yes, this is where you get to kiss me.”

“Sweet,” Holtz says, and the next moment her mouth is on Erin’s, soft and gentle and hot and it is far too much for Erin’s brain to handle. She wraps her arms around Holtz and surrenders herself to the sensation of kissing her.

They don’t get any more work done for a long time after that.

*

Abby and Patty are surprised, to say the least. Not that the two of them had gotten together, they hasten to point out, just that they leapt straight to marriage.

“I didn’t think you were the long-term monogamy type, Holtz,” Abby says when she’s finished spluttering into her soup.

“Man y’all white girls don’t waste any time do you?” Patty says, prompting the first of what will presumably be many U-Haul jokes from Holtz, much to Erin’s disgust.

(Her disgust is entirely too fond to be genuine though, and Erin knows that. She concentrates on her lo mein instead of the friendly bickering and joking happening between her friends and her future wife.)

Surprise quickly gives way to support, the other Ghostbusters genuinely pleased for their friends. Abby wonders if she gets to be best man _and_ maid of honour while Patty enthuses about announcing the impending nuptials on their social media, which she is unequivocally in charge of because, let’s face it, the other three don’t have enough of a clue how it works.

“Not just yet,” Erin says quietly. “I need to break the news to my parents first.”

Abby shoots her a concerned look while Holtz just puts a hand on Erin’s thigh under the table. The silent support from her fiancée means more to Erin than she has words to express.

“Whenever you’re ready baby,” Patty says. “But as soon as you give the word I’mma shout about it from the rooftops, ’kay?”

Erin nods, smiling weakly and gets back to eating her lunch.

Abby takes her to one side the moment they’ve finished eating and the other two head back to their current projects. “Do your mom and dad even know you’re, you know?” she says, gesturing awkwardly.

“What? Bisexual?” Abby nods. “Abs _I_ didn’t even know until now.” Abby raises an eyebrow at her. “Okay, so I knew, kind of, but I wasn’t really _sure_ until Holtz. So no, my parents have no idea.”

She scoffs then. “Imagine only just working out your sexuality in your _forties_.” She tries to keep the self-deprecation out of her voice, but given that she’s Erin, she fails.

Abby reaches out a hand to touch Erin’s elbow. “Hey, it’s okay you know. Lots of people don’t figure it out until much later than you. Others never figure themselves at all. And you know there tons of other people who don’t realise until they meet the right person, and some people never do. And there are others who don’t _have_ a right person, and that’s okay too.” She pauses to take a deep breath. “No matter what your parents say we’re all here for you. We’re your family too. Just… let me know how it goes with your parents, okay?”

Erin manages to nod but she’s still troubled.

*

They don’t take it well.

Somehow the fact Erin is getting married to a woman she wasn’t even dating was the last straw for her parents. They’d been distant since she’d gotten fired from Columbia, more so since the Ghostbusters hit the news. After this Erin knows she won’t be speaking to her parents again for a long time, if ever. She’d half expected this outcome, but it still hurts.

She sits in her room at the fire-house staring at her cell for a long, long time after hanging up.

A soft knock on the door draws her out of the spiral of negative thoughts and emotions she’s been caught in. It’s Holtz. Of course it’s Holtz.

“Hey sweetheart,” she says, slipping into the room. “You’ve been up here a long time and I just wanted to make sure you were– woah, you’re not okay.” It’s a statement, not a question.

Given the fact Erin is sat cross-legged on her bed, face in her hands trying to choke back tears, it’s pretty safe to say that no, she’s not okay. Not even a little bit.

Holtz settles onto the bed beside her and pulls Erin onto her lap. “You wanna talk about it?”

Erin doesn’t answer at first, just buries her face in the crook of Holtz’s neck and breathes in the scent of her. It calms her thoughts as well as her heart-rate. “I was expecting it, you know,” she says at last. “But it still hurts.” Erin choked back a sob, and the arms around her waist tighten. “Holtz, my mum and dad aren’t gonna be there on my wedding day. They’re supposed to be there.” The stab of hurt in her chest is too much to bear and she’s crying again.

Even through her tears and the sobs threatening to turn her ribcage inside out she can feel the way Holtz tenses around her, can see the uncomfortable look on her face though the blur of tears.

“We could still call this off,” Holtz says quietly. “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want.”

“No!” Erin shouts, the fury suddenly flooding her system startling her out of her crying. “Never that.”

“But–”

“No Holtz,” she says, and her voice holds a note of warning. “I still want this, no matter what. I will always want this.” Holtz hasn’t been able to meet her eyes for the last few minutes, so Erin tips her chin up, forcing their gazes to meet. “I might not know where I’m going but I do know how fast, and who with.”

Holtz smiles at that. “You beautiful physics nerd, you,” she says, nuzzling Erin’s cheek with her nose. “I frickin’ love you.”

Erin’s breath catches in her throat because while it was implied by Holtz’s acceptance of her proposal, it’s the first time she’s actually said the words out loud. It was always possible that love would be something that would come later, after they’d secured their future together, but to hear the words now… it makes everything Erin’s just been through worth it.

“You do?” Erin says, and Holtz freezes, like she’s only just realised what slipped out of her mouth. “You love me?”

“Well, yeah,” Holtz says, drawing the words out as though it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Why else would I have agreed to marry you?”

“Maybe you’re after all the money I made at Columbia,” Erin says, trying to be serious despite the huge grin threatening to take over her face.

“Erin, sweetheart, darling; you and I both know that whatever money you made at Columbia was blown on rent for Ghostbusters HQ mark one. Also buying Benny a new bike,” Holtz adds with a sheepish smile.

“True.”

“I’m marrying you cos I’m in love with you, you dork. Have been since you got slimed by the late Gertrude Aldridge.”

Erin is surprised by that. “That long? Why didn’t you say anything?”

Holtz shrugs. “I finally felt I like I had a family. I wasn’t gonna put that at risk just cos I couldn’t get a hold of my stupid heart.”

Erin pulls her even closer, Holtz’s reasons far too close to what had held her back for so long to be truly comfortable. “It’s not stupid,” Erin says firmly. “But you don’t have to worry about your heart any more. We’re still family. And soon we’ll have a piece of paper to prove it.”

“I know,” Holtz says with a grin. “I can’t wait. I’m gonna keep a copy of it in my wallet so I can show everyone. The whole of New York is gonna know that Erin Gilbert is my wife.”

Erin groans at that. She knows that Holtz isn’t talking about the media, the there’s an underlying truth to her words anyway. Erin never thought she’d have to worry about the Paparazzi at her wedding, but she’s going to have to anyway. Then again, she never thought she’s end up marrying a woman, and she can’t say she regrets that particular curve ball that life has thrown at her. Surprised can be good. Just maybe not when the paps are involved.

She asks Holtz what they’re going to do about the inevitable media attention their wedding will bring, and she gets a rather disturbingly evil grin in return.

“Don’t you worry about that babe,” Holtz says, still grinning. “I have a cunning plan. Patty and I will sort them out, just watch. You don’t need to worry about it at all.”

Erin, being Erin, worries about it anyway.

*

The details fall into place rather quickly after that. They settle on a date that Gorin can make, since she’s the only one who has to travel, and take care of the legalities. Since their wedding party is so small they don’t need to worry about planners or caterers or any of that kind of thing. Patty volunteers herself (and a couple of her siblings, one of whom runs a catering company) to do the food and Abby calls dibs on doing the flowers. Even sorting out what they’re going to wear is easy.

Erin picks a light summer dress in cornflower blue. It hangs to her mid thigh and the skirt swirls nicely if she moves quickly. Erin loves it and knows she’ll feel comfortable wearing it all day, which is really the most important criteria as far as she’s concerned. Holtz opts for a grey suit cobbled together out of items she already owns. When she shows Erin what she’s picked the sleeves of her dress shirt are rolled down to her wrists but Erin knows that will last all of five minutes on the actual day. Still, she kind of loves how casual and _themselves_ they’re both going to be on their wedding day. It feels right.

Everyone else is left to their own devices as far as clothes are concerned, and Erin is so glad she doesn’t have to deal with about ninety five percent of the headaches most brides have to endure. As long as the paperwork is signed and no one gets arrested, Erin knows she’ll have a wonderful time. Holtz feels the same, though she’s not as adamant about the getting arrested thing as Erin is, which has been just about the only bone of contention between them as far as their nuptials are concerned.

Holtz volunteered to take care of the rings, and they’re the only thing she’s keeping a surprise for her fiancée. Erin isn’t sure whether to expect something beautifully simple or the most complicated wedding rings known to man. If the rings end up having a dual use as emergency ghostbusting equipment she won’t be surprised. The one thing she is expecting is for the rings to be home-made. That’s just the kind of person Holtz is.

All the important details are sorted and the big day draws near.

*

The one ridiculously traditional thing Erin and Holtz have agreed upon is that they want to wait for their wedding night to make love for the first time. Erin suggested it in a fit of sentimentality and Holtz was surprisingly enthusiastic in her agreement. There had been a brief moment of self-doubt on Erin’s part when she’d jokingly suggested she wanted to have Holtz legally shackled to her before she found out how disappointing she was in the bedroom.

Holt, unsurprisingly, was having none of it. “Babe, I have absolutely no doubts that you are going to rock my world,” she’d said, and the certainty in her voice had reassured Erin no end. “Beside, I kind of like the idea of waiting until marriage. It feels like an extra layer of ”fuck you" to the kind of people who don’t think we should be able to get married at all."

So they were agreed. The only real downside to their plan was that it led to heated make-out sessions that had no chance of going anywhere no matter how much both of them wanted it to.

“Erin, babe,” Holtz whines, pulling her lips away from Erin’s. “You have got to stop doing that.”

“Doing what?” Erin asks innocently as she starts kissing her way down Holtz’s neck. She absolutely does not miss the way Holtz’s breath hitches.

“That,” Holtz says. Her voice sounds a little choked, and Erin can’t help but feel a bit smug about that. “We said we would wait and you are making it _very_ hard for me to resist you right now.”

Erin pulls away extremely reluctantly and flops back on the couch in her apartment. Technically it’s _their_ apartment now but they had decided to leave the finer details of cohabitation until after their wedding. Holtz is mostly living at the fire-house anyway, and Erin strongly suspects that will remain the case even after they’re married. She honestly doesn’t mind. She loves Holtz for every single thing that makes her _her_.

“Whose bright idea was that?” Erin grumbles, though she doesn’t really mean it. Not being allowed to go any further than kissing is making her feel like a teenager again. Or what she imagines she’s have felt like as a teenager, had she actually had anyone to kiss in the first place.

“All yours babe,” Holtz says, pressing a kiss to her cheek that is far more chaste than anything that has happened in the last fifteen minutes. She glances at the clock and Erin feels a pang of reluctance deep in her gut. “I should get going,” Holtz says, though she sounds about as enamoured with the idea as Erin is.

“You could stay over?” Erin dares, biting her lip.

“I would love to babe,” Holtz says, springing up from the couch and pressing a kiss to the top of Erin’s head. “But if I were to share a bed with you right now I would not be able to keep my hands to myself and I don’t think you would make your fiancée sleep on the couch.”

Erin sighs but she knows Holtz is right. she’s a hair’s breadth from throwing the towel in on waiting as it is and a sleep rumpled Jillian Holtzmann is not going to help with that. “I know. Not long to go now though.”

“Just five more sleeps and I’m all yours,” Holtz says, fire in her eyes. She shrugs her jacket on and drags her boots onto her feet, not bothering to tie the laces.

“Soon,” Erin agrees, seeing her fiancée to the door.

Holtz presses a soft kiss to Erin’s lips and her eyes are glittering as she pulls away. “I can’t wait.”

Erin falls back against the door when Holtz is gone and groans in frustration. Five days. She can do this.

She’ll be counting down the minutes.

*

The morning of the wedding dawns warm but overcast. Erin should have known better than to expect fairytale good weather for her wedding but she honestly can’t find it in herself to be too upset. She’s getting married today. To Holtzmann. In just a few short hours Jillian Holtzmann will be her wife and she can’t be anything other than upbeat with that to look forward to.

She heads over to the fire-house to get ready, a ridiculous smile on her face and unadulterated joy in her heart.

When she arrives the place is already bustling with activity. Holtz has beaten her there; she can tell by the poppy love songs blasting from upstairs at a truly ear-splitting volume.

“Thanks goodness you’re here,” is Abby’s greeting as she grabs Erin by the arm. “She’s completely lost the plot!” Abby’s hair is frazzled and there is an air of exasperation about her that Erin recognises as a symptom of exposure to Holtz at her most unreasonably exuberant.

A brief stab of fear shoots through Erin, centering on her chest.

“She hasn’t changed her mind has she? She’s not having second thoughts.”

“Oh hell no,” Patty interjects, ever the voice of reason. “That woman is head over heels for you Erin, ain’t no way she’s backing out of this.” She hands Abby a mug of something herbal and shoos her over to the couch in the reception area.

Relief floods through Erin; she isn’t sure what she would do if Holtz backed out now. “What’s she done that’s gotten Abby so worked up?”

“Doctor Frankenstein up there has decided that the morning of her wedding is the perfect time to re-tune _every single piece of equipment in the building_. I don’t think she’s had a wink of sleep.” Even Patty sounds exasperated with Holtz, truly exasperated, in a way she rarely gets. Erin feels a bit like laughing.

“Is that all?” she asks, completely unperturbed by the engineering rampage her fiancée has decided to go on. “I thought she’d done something I should be concerned about.”

Patty just shakes her head. “Man, y’all are perfect for each other.” Patty opens her mouth to continue but is interrupted by the sound of something exploding upstairs, followed by Holtz yelling “just a small poof!” It’s a miracle they can even hear her over the music.

“That’s the woman you’re marrying,” Patty says, and from the look on her face Erin thinks that’s supposed to be a warning. A lovestruck and completely goofy smile takes over her face, making her cheeks hurt.

“Yes it is,” Erin says proudly.

“Man, you so in love,” Patty says, giving Erin her widest, most genuine smile. “Go on Doctor Lovebird, see if you can convince crazy up there to come down and get ready for her own damn wedding. I’mma go make sure Abby doesn’t have a coronary before y’all say” I do“.” She shakes her head for what Erin gets the impression must be the thousandth time that morning. “And I thought _you_ were the anxious one.” Patty shoots Erin a knowing look before she heads upstairs to wrangle her fiancée.

Impossibly, the music is even louder up on the second floor.

“Holtz?” Erin shouts, “are you in here?”

The music abruptly drops to an almost normal volume and Holtz pops up from behind one of the workbenches. “Erin, love of my life, how are you this fine morning?” Her grin is so wide it a wonder her jaw hasn’t fallen off and her hair is in a spectacular disarray.

Erin couldn’t be more in love with her.

“How much caffeine have you had?” Erin asks suspiciously.

“Unimportant,” Holtz says, waving an arm through the air dramatically.

“Uh huh.”

“Baby, sweetheart, hot stuff, the only thing that matters is that today I get to marry literally the most beautiful and smartest woman in the world.” Impossibly, her grin gets wider.

“Which is why you decided to tinker with every single piece of equipment you’ve ever built.”

Holtz shrugs. “Couldn’t sleep. Too excited.” She spins away, grabbing a wrench in one hand and soldering iron with a broken cord in the other and heads towards one of the containment units, humming happily as she goes. Erin grabs her by the shoulders and literally drags her away.

“Oh no you don’t.”

“But Erin–”

“No. We have an appointment we absolutely cannot be late for and I am not risking you setting loose every ghost we’ve ever captured on my wedding day. This is an ectoplasm free zone.”

Reluctantly, Holtz drops her tools on the bench. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I just needed something to keep my hands busy. Stop my brain from over thinking literally everything.” She turns and folds herself into Erin’s arms, looking small and fragile.

Erin presses a soft kiss to her cheek. “You have nothing to apologise for. Unless you’re not ready on time, in which case Patty is gonna kick your ass into Jersey.” Holtz manages a smile at that. “You wanna get married?” Erin continues softly.

“Yeah,” Holtz replies with a slow smile creeping across her face. “I do.”

“You don’t say that ’til later, silly.” Erin swats her affectionately on the butt and Holtz shoots her a cheeky grin before skipping towards the fireman’s pole, though Erin has literally never seen another human being skip quite like that before. “What exploded by the way?”

Holtz pauses with her hands wrapped around the pole and gives Erin a look that is one part guilt and three parts cheek. “I _might_ have crossed a few wires while fixing Abby’s proton pack. But it was just a small poof. Tiny thing, no big.”

“Abby’s gonna kill you,” Erin says with a groan.

“Not on my wedding day she’s not,” Holtz says and slides down the fireman’s pole with an inarticulate yell.

Erin smiles to herself. She really, really cannot wait to be married to this woman.

*

Despite Abby’s worrying and Holtz’s sleep deprived, caffeine-fueled excitement, Patty manages to get everyone herded to City Hall. Doctor Gorin is already there, looking pretty much how she always does but without the lab coat. Holtz launches herself at her mentor and wraps her up in the biggest hug Erin has ever seen. Judging by the slightly purple tinge to Gorin’s face, Holtz just hugged at least a year off her lifespan.

“Are you certain you want to take this one on permanently?” Gorin says, looking Erin dead in the eye. Her tone of voice is exactly the same as it always is and Erin has no idea whether she’s being serious or not. Still, she decides to answer seriously, just in case.

“I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life.”

Holtz finally lets go of her mentor and bounds back to Erin, grabbing her hand. “Come on Becca. Time to get me wifed up.” She practically runs into City Hall, dragging Erin along after her.

The ceremony they’ve chosen is simple, just the bare minimum required by the state. Abby cries all the way through anyway. In no time at all, the paperwork is signed and Erin and Holtz are declared to be legally married.

Their party might be small, but you wouldn’t know it by the thunder of applause and loud cheers that the declaration leads to.

Holtz takes the opportunity to kiss her new wife, dipping her almost all the way to the floor in the process. She only relents when Abby loudly complains that she didn’t need to know what colour underwear Erin has on.

They head outside for a few photos, but Erin is barely paying attention. She can’t take her eyes off her wife—her _wife_. Holtz seems to have a similar problem. The two of them are content just to gaze at each other, the rest of the world fading to nothing around them.

It doesn’t occur to Erin to worry about the paparazzi, Holtz’s promise that she and Patty would deal with them all but forgotten. (She finds out later that they slipped a couple of reporters the wrong ceremony time, so some other poor couple ended up facing the brunt of their attention. Erin can’t find it in herself to mind too much; she figures most other brides wouldn’t mind nearly as much.)

But that’s an issue for later. Right now the only thought occupying her brain is how much she loves the woman she’s just married.

That is, until their blissful, loving reverie is interrupted by Patty.

“Come on lovebirds,” she yells. “It’s party time!”

*

Considering how few of them were there, it ends up being a hell of a party. Patty sure knows what she’s doing when it comes to celebrating. Music pumps through the fire-house, mercifully at a much more reasonable volume than earlier, but still loud enough to dance to.

And dance they do. Holtz drags Erin onto the impromptu dance floor almost as soon as they get there. The play list is a joint effort between Holtz and Patty, with the latter mostly vetoing some of the former’s more questionable choices. Still, most of the music is familiar to Erin from hours spent up in Holtz’s lab, working on ground breaking paranormal research.

Their first dance ends up being to DeBarge, Holtz peacocking as wildly as ever has and Erin awkwardly dancing with her arms, until they come crashing together with almost no coordination, laughing all the while.

Erin doesn’t think she could have asked for a more perfect first dance.

(Patty takes a photo of the two newly-weds for the Ghostbusters’ social media accounts. The picture of them flailing wildly with their arms and legs, hands clasped together as they gaze at each other ends up getting more than a million likes. Erin has it framed later and puts it on her desk at work, which is suspiciously immune from being set on fire by Holtz from that point onwards.)

After the dance, they eat. Patty and her sister have done a superb job with the food. Along the walls are three tables groaning under the weight of enough food to feed an army. Erin and Holtz had agreed they’d rather have a buffet than a sit down meal, since it was more in-keeping with the informal nature of their entire wedding. There are more finger foods on those tables than Erin has ever seen in her life, and their buffet includes some things she didn’t even know could be made buffet suitable. Holtz keeps making trips to the table and coming back with her plate piled high. Every time Erin sneaks something from the plate Holtz beams at her wife before going back to talking to Dr Gorin.

It feels right. It feels perfect.

Abby’s in a corner talking to Kevin, who is obviously enthusiastic about the subject given the way he’s gesticulating with his arms. Abby has a slight frown on her face that could mean she has no idea what he’s on about or she’s concentrating on her soup, which really isn’t a buffet food but had been provided nonetheless. Patty is alternating between DJing and chasing Mike Hat, who had been barred from attending the ceremony but invited to the reception, such as it is, in order to keep Kevin happy.

Erin sighs and puts her head on Holtz’s shoulder. She’s happy, surrounded by the most important people in her life. The absence of her parents is noticeable, but it doesn’t sting any more. She’s too happy right now to let it bring her down.

“You alright babe?” Holtz asks with a mouthful of sausage roll.

“Happy,” Erin replies, sneaking another mini-quiche thing from her wife’s plate. She isn’t entirely sure what it is, but it’s delicious, which is all that matters.

“Me too,” says Holtz, with the dopiest grin on her face. She jumps to her feet, nearly elbowing Erin in the face in the process, and gestures to Patty, who immediately turns the music down. “I know we said we wouldn’t do speeches, but there are a few things I feel I need to say.”

Suddenly there’s a drink in her hand, and in Erin’s, courtesy of Patty, who is literally the most organised person in the world. And who obviously knew this was coming, even if Erin didn’t.

“I’m not good at speeches,” Holtz started, her free hand twitching nervously by her side. “I’m not really any good with anything to do with people. Too many variables, the math doesn’t work and they don’t respond predictably, unlike my machines. And when I get something wrong the emotional poof is so much worse than anything I’ve ever caused in the lab.” She looks down at Erin with the most adoring look on her face. “But today I feel like I finally got something right. The math finally made sense, and I think that has a lot to do with the genius physicist I get to call my wife.”

Erin feels a prickle in the corners of her eyes. There’s a lump in her throat and she just _knows_ she’s gonna end up being on of those brides who cries on her wedding day. Abby’s beaten her to the tear fest though, which counts for something.

Holtz continues: “I’ve said before that I never really had a friend before Abby. Too smart, too weird, too… something. Too many variables,” she says, smiling. “And then one day, the most beautiful woman I have ever seen stormed into our lab with a tweed suit and the biggest stick up her ass and somehow I ended up with a family and got to save the world along the way.” She turns to Erin, lifting her glass in a salute. “I never, ever thought I’d end up getting married. Mostly cos it wasn’t legal for the longest time, and then when it was I never thought anyone would be crazy enough to want to spend the rest of their life with me. Turns out I just needed to wait for the right flavour of crazy.”

There are tears running down Erin’s face now, and she hopes the waterproof mascara Patty put on her that morning is as good as it claimed to be. She doesn’t mind being called crazy, not by Holtz, not today. She can see the affection behind the words, can feel the way she and Holtz fit together despite everything and thinks that finally, finally, she might be free of ghosts from her past.

Holtz’s plate of food has disappeared somewhere, leaving her with a free hand. Erin takes hold of it and holds on as hard as she can. Holtz squeezes back.

“Erin Gilbert, you have changed my life so much for the better. With your tiny bow-ties and your finger guns and the little way you shimmy when you really get let loose as you dance. I fell in love with you a long time ago. With the way you wring your hands when you’re nervous, and chew your pens when an equation won’t go right and the little frown you get when you’re concerned about my approach to fire safety with blowtorches. I love every single thing about you, even your inability to go a single bust without getting covered in slime.” That gets a laugh, at Erin’s expense, but she can’t bring herself to mind not one bit. Not with the way Holtz is looking at her right now. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you but I am so, so glad you asked me to marry you and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you, ghost girl.” Holtz lifts her glass again and says: “To Erin, my wife.”

Everyone drinks to her and Erin feels a tiny bit self conscious, but incredibly happy. Holtz sits down again and Erin pulls her into a kiss, which is interrupted far too soon by Patty clinking her glass with a spoon.

“Y’all are like my sisters and I am so glad you two weirdos found each other. I was beginning to think you’d never get around to it.” Patty grins as she says this and Erin wonders if she had really been that obvious or whether Patty just sees more than everyone else. In the end she supposes it doesn’t really matter; she got the girl in the end. “Holtz, you take care of our Erin, and keep her from being too serious.” Holtz pops off her signature salute in reply. “Erin, try to keep her from killing us all in an experimental nuclear apocalypse, yeah?”

“I’ll do my best,” Erin says with a grin.

“No large poofs, got it boss,” says Holtz, dimples popping and mischief all over her face.

“Uh huh.” Patty clearly isn’t having any of it. “Y’all deserve a _long_ and happy life together. As free of explosions as possible when you’re married to this one.” She jerks her thumb in Holtz’s direction before raising her glass high. “To Erin and Holtz.”

“Erin and Holtz.”

“To us,” Holtz says softly, pressing her forehead to Erin’s.

Yup, definitely one of those brides that cries on her wedding day. Somehow, Erin doesn’t mind at all.

*

Erin sits in the corner as the party winds down around her. Holtz is talking animatedly with Gorin about something and her mentor is looking at her with a look of amused tolerance. Patty is chasing Kevin around because the receptionist has done… something ridiculous, Erin honestly hasn’t been paying any attentions to him, and Abby is fast asleep on the couch with Mike Hat on her chest. All in all its been the perfect party.

She fiddles with the ring on her finger, not yet used to the feel of it, new as it is. The ring itself is perfect. Home made by Holtz, as expected, a simple band hammered flat and accented with four tiny diamonds. The band is clearly made out of some old coin or other, some of the original design still visible on the hammered surface. Holtz had confided in her earlier that the coin had come from the collection her grandfather had left her, the only memory of her family she’d ever been able to stand. Erin had almost cried when her wife had told her that. Holtz’s ring is the same design, though the band is made from something else. (Erin will learn later it’s made from components taken from her first proton pack, the silver melted down and re-purposed. She’s sort of glad she got the hammered coin; Holtz’s wedding ring is probably still mildly radioactive.)

“Hey,” says a soft voice, breaking Erin out of her reverie. She looks up to see her wife gazing at her with a smile on her face.

“Hey Holtz. Sorry, I think I spaced out for a bit there. Been a long day.”

“Yeah,” Holtz agrees, “but its been great.”

“It was perfect,” Erin manages before an enormous yawn overtakes her.

“I think it’s past someone’s bed time,” Holtz teases. She’s grinning as she says this, and as tired as Erin is, she has no idea how Holtz is even still standing given she’s been awake for at least the last thirty-six hours. But then, that’s not exactly unusual for Holtz.

“Time to go home?”

Holtz’s grin softens and turns almost shy. “Home? Home sounds good. Come on babydoll, time we blew this joint.”

They say their goodbyes to everyone that’s still awake and manage to slip out without any trouble. Gorin nods at them both approvingly and Patty grins at them, clearly still thrilled for both of them. Kevin waves enthusiastically before stuffing three sandwiches in his mouth at once. Holtz shoots him a thumbs up as she walks out the door.

The night air is cool and Erin leans sleepily on her wife’s shoulder as they wait for a cab, lulled into a state of hazy bliss by the smell of Holtz and the sounds of New York at night. Before she knows it they’re at Erin’s apartment, _their_ apartment. She must have slept most of the way home.

By the time they’ve gotten upstairs and into the apartment Erin is practically asleep standing up. She’s completely content with this until she remembers with a jolt what their wedding night is supposed to include.

“Oh! We were supposed to be–”

Holtz interrupts her with a kiss. “Don’t worry about it, hot stuff,” she says, apparently reading Erin’s mind. “We’ve got plenty of time.”

Erin pouts a little, but she has to admit she’s far too tired to be doing any consummating. She falls a little bit more in love with Holtz for how considerate and understanding she’s being.

Holtz _does_ insist on carrying Erin over the threshold to the bedroom, which results in a lot of sleepy giggling. They help each other get ready for bed and as they’re brushing their teeth together Erin catches Holtz looking at her in the bathroom mirror, a tiny smile in the corner of her mouth.

“What you looking at?” Erin demands, nudging her wife gently.

“Just you,” Holtz says softly, and Erin doesn’t think she’s ever heard anyone talk about her with that much reverence in her voice. “You’re everything I ever wanted, _this_ is everything I ever wanted. Thank you for marrying me.”

“It was entirely my pleasure.”

“Not yet, but it will be,” Holtz shoots back with a wicked look on her face. Erin swats at her playfully, though given how rapidly her manual dexterity is deteriorating it might have been a little harder than she intended.

“You know what I mean!”

“Yeah, yeah I do,” Holtz says, grabbing Erin’s hand and pressing a kiss to it. “Shall we?”

They snuggle into bed together, tangled up in the middle. Erin, who always sleeps on the right hand side of the bed and sleeps badly if she drifts, somehow doesn’t mind. Holtz is wrapped around her so tightly she can barely move, her breath tickling the back of Erin’s neck. She doesn’t think she’d ever been happier.

“Perfect day,” she mumbles as sleep begins to claim her.

They did it. They’re married. Erin drifts off in her wife’s arms, a smile on her face.

*

She wakes up to sunlight on her face and a puddle of drool on her shoulder. Holtz is sprawled face down across the bed, arms and legs flung wide to take up as much space as possible. Her face is tucked into Erin’s shoulder and she has one arm and one leg thrown over her wife. Despite the leg that’s pressing into her bladder, Erin doesn’t think she’s ever been happier to wake up.

Holtz it turns out, sleeps like the dead, so it’s no problem for Erin to sneak out from under her and head to the bathroom. Checking herself over in the mirror, she notices that the damp patch on her shoulder almost covers the entirety of her shirt sleeve. _At least she doesn’t snore_ , Erin thinks to herself, though her irritation at Holtz’s impressive nocturnal saliva production capabilities is far more fond than anything else.

Erin is just congratulating herself on managing to crawl back into bed without waking Holtz, when a pair of arms tighten around her waist.

“Where’d you go?” Holtz mumbles sleepily and mostly into the pillow. She sounds adorably put out.

“Bathroom,” Erin says simply. “I wasn’t gone long.”

Holtz pouts anyway. “Morning kisses,” she insists, pointing towards her lips.

Erin grins as she does as she’s told, morning breath be damned. The kisses seem to rouse Holtz fairly effectively and before she knows it Erin is breathing hard, having been kissed to within an inch of her life.

“Morning wifey,” Holtz says, her trademark wicked smirk plastered on her face.

“Hi,” Erin replies, unable to string together anything with more syllables.

“Feel up to some conjugal duties?” The waggle of eyebrows that accompanies this question is far more seductive than it has any right to be.

“Oh. Yes, please.”

Holtz’s only reply is to kiss her again.

It doesn’t take Erin long to decide she’s very glad they’d put this off last night. Making love to Holtz for the first time when half asleep would have been a crying shame, since she can hardly keep track of all the delicious things Holtz is doing to her even though she’s fully awake.

She already knew that Holtz was a talented kisser, but she’d never really appreciated how much time Holtz takes to kiss her properly, even when it’s clear things are headed elsewhere. Erin’s previous lovers have always treated kissing in bed as a stop on a journey to more interesting things, their kisses perfunctory and quickly abandoned. Holtz seems to treat kissing as an end in and of itself, and by the time she’s done Erin is gasping for breath, half gone already despite the fact Holtz has barely even touched her.

Erin decides right then and there that she has definitely married the right person.

Holtz pauses for a moment, hand hovering above Erin’s breast. “May I?” she asks softly. Erin bites back the urge to tell her that of course she can touch her breast, they’re married. It occurs to her that no one has been as careful in establishing explicit consent as Holtz is, and she’s suddenly extraordinarily grateful for this woman who refuses to take Erin’s body for granted, even though she’s laid on top of her.

“Touch anything you like,” Erin gasps out. “I’ll let you know if I don’t like it.”

Holtz presses a gentle kiss to Erin’s lips, so different from the passionate ones that have gotten Erin so riled up. “Please do,” she says. “I want this to be good for you babe.”

In a flash Erin’s top is gone, tossed onto the floor somewhere and Holtz’s talented tongue is lavishing her breasts with the same level of attention she’d paid to her mouth. Erin’s hips buck involuntarily, and the noises coming from her mouth would have embarrassed her if she were with anyone but Holtz.

By the time Holtz has removed her panties, Erin is pretty much sobbing. “So beautiful,” Holtz says, staring at her vulva with the sort of reverence that should be reserved for holy relics. Then her mouth gets to work once more.

Erin comes screaming like a banshee a few moments later. And then again before she even has time to catch her breath.

She’s mostly incoherent for a while after that, and by the time she’s managed to get her thoughts straight she’s cuddled into Holtz’s side, cheek resting on her wife’s chest. Erin sort of expects Holtz to have an insufferably smug look on her face but she doesn’t; she’s just gazing softly at Erin, her eyes unmistakably full of love and joy.

That’s when she realises there are going to be no quips, no jokes or puns about this. Because no matter how much fun they might have in bed together, this is something Holtz takes seriously. Erin decides that the least she can do is take it just as seriously.

“Your turn,” she says, rolling Holtz onto her back. “Anything I need to know? Things you don’t like.”

“It can take me a while to get off sometimes, even when I’m really aroused. So if it seems to take a long time or doesn’t happen at all don’t worry that it’s you, it’s not. Other than that I’m pretty groovy.” Holtz grins at her and Erin takes that as a cue to begin.

“First things first; this, off,” she says, tugging at Holtz’s t shirt.

“Yes ma’am,” she says, sitting up to drag the item off as fast as humanly possible.

Holtz is beautiful, Erin thinks, taking in her naked torso for the first time. She’s pale, and has unfairly good muscle definition, but Erin’s gaze is drawn to the scars lightly dusted across otherwise smooth skin, evidence of Holtz’s growth as an engineer. Erin makes sure to kiss every single one before turning her attention to Holtz’s breasts, which are probably the nicest Erin has ever see, though she admits it is possible she might be biased.

Following the precedent Holtz set earlier, Erin spends a good long while caressing Holtz’s breasts and nipples and stomach, memorising the feel of them under her fingers and tongue. She learns that Holtz makes the most delectable gasping noise when her nipples are bitten _just so_ , and that the curve of her hipbone is sensitive enough to induce shouted expletives when she runs her tongue along it.

She takes her time, enjoying every moment she spends exploring Holtz’s body, discovering and cataloguing every little reaction to use to her advantage at a later date. Erin sucks and bites at every inch of skin she can access, leaving a trail of little marks as she goes, making sure her claim on Holtz is seared into her very skin and not just worn around her left ring finger.

Holtz has jammed her fist in her mouth at some point, trying to stem the noises that seem to be coming out of it entirely without her permission. Erin peels the last piece of Holtz’s clothing from her and her breath catches in her throat as she sees her wife naked for the first time.

“Holtz,” she manages, though she almost chokes on the well of emotion in her throat.

“Fuck, Erin,” Holtz gasps out, her hips arching upwards towards the heat of Erin’s body.

“Are you ready?”

“Fuck yes.”

Erin reaches out with unsteady fingers, astonished by just how wet Holtz is. Holtz twitches and lets out a muffled “fuck” as Erin’s fingertips graze across her clit, and after that Erin is gone. She surges forwards, with her fingers, her mouth, her whole body, and sets to making Holtz feel as good as she possible can. Holtz had warned her that it might take her a while to come, and it may well have done, Erin has no way to tell. She’s so lost in the way Holtz moves and the noises she’s making that time becomes irrelevant. She still feels like it is far, far too soon when Holtz’s back arches to an impossible angle as she shouts Erin’s name; she could spend forever doing this.

That thought centres Erin as she waits for Holtz’s breathing to go back to something approaching normal. Warmth blossoms in her chest with the knowledge that this isn’t some random encounter, a relationship that might fall apart in a few weeks. Holtz is her _wife_ and she can spend forever doing this if she wants to.

She does.

“Not bad Gilbert,” Holtz says when she can finally breathe normally again. There’s a trace of a smirk in the corner of her mouth, but mostly she just looks completely and utterly besotted. Erin can’t help but kiss her.

They snuggle up for a while, and Erin finds herself enjoying the quiet and the feeling of slightly sticky skin on skin contact. Eventually though the peace is broken by the loud rumble of Holtz’s stomach and they scramble out of bed, laughing. Erin manages to find her nightwear and pull it back on. She turns turns around to see if Holtz is ready only to find her still stood there, underwear dangling from one hand as she looks at Erin like she hung the fucking moon.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Holtz says. “Just, I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Erin smiles, pure joy bubbling up from inside her chest at those words. “Me either, Holtz. Me either.”

*

Looking at the news is still too much for Erin most days. The world seems to be going from bad to worse at an alarming rate, and it feels like there’s nothing they can do about it. Their future is still up in the air; their funding uncertain, their healthcare at risk and the words “breaking news” still send Erin spiralling into an anxiety attack.

But strangely, Erin feels she can cope with it. Despite all the things that seem to be going wrong, despite the uncertainty and the long evenings spent shouting at the news, she’s happy. Because she gets to wake up next to Holtz, their limbs tangled up like a pretzel and her shoulder covered in drool. And while it’s not every morning, because Holtz is probably never going to get a handle on her sleep cycle despite Erin’s best efforts, it’s enough.

She gets to laugh at Holtz’s silliness, and burn dinner because they’re too busy kissing. She gets to grouch about the clothes all over the bedroom only to have Holtz make it up to her by running her a hot bath. She gets to watch Holtz hungrily as she takes down ghost after ghost on a bust, knowing that later she gets to peel her out of that jumpsuit and have her way with her. She gets to do all those things, and her life feels fuller, richer because of it.

So yeah, things are kinda bad and the world’s a shitty place, but Erin has learned that you’ve got to take pleasure in the small things, that there’s still good in the world and her relationship with Holtz, her _marriage_ is proof of that. And no matter how hard things get, she gets to go home with the woman she loves and as long as she has that, she can deal. As long as she has Holtz she can cope with whatever the world throws at her.

Asking Holtz to marry her was one of the best decisions she ever made. She’s just incredibly grateful Holtz accepted, cos here’s the thing about Erin Gilbert and Jillian Holtzmann; as long as they’re together, no force in this world or the next can stop them.

**Author's Note:**

> This was meant to be a short fluffy one shot but it kinda got away from me. I seem to be obsessed with writing proposal fic and I wanted to have Erin do the proposing for once. This is the result. Hope you enjoy!


End file.
